Archive | Quotes and Poems RSS feed for this section

Dave Sedaris quote

26 Jun
“I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it? To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.”
― David Sedaris
Advertisements

Dave Sedaris quote

26 Jun
“There seemed to be some correlation between devotion to God and a misguided zeal for marshmallows.”
― David Sedaris

Dave Sedaris quote

26 Jun

“For the first twenty years of my life, I rocked myself to sleep. It was a harmless enough hobby, but eventually, I had to give it up. Throughout the next twenty-two years I lay still and discovered that after a few minutes I could drop off with no problem. Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it’s funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own. Often I never even made it to the bed. I’d squat down to pet the cat and wake up on the floor eight hours later, having lost a perfectly good excuse to change my clothes. I’m now told that this is not called “going to sleep” but rather “passing out,” a phrase that carries a distinct hint of judgment.”
― David Sedaris

Dave Sedaris quote

26 Jun

“Every day we’re told that we live in the greatest country on earth. And it’s always stated as an undeniable fact: Leos are born between July 23 and August 22, fitted queen-size sheets measure sixty by eighty inches, and America is the greatest country on earth. Having grown up with this in our ears, it’s startling to realize that other countries have nationalistic slogans of their own, none of which are ‘We’re number two!”
― David Sedaris

Dave Sedaris quote

26 Jun

He took a sip of my father’s weak coffee and spit it back into the mug. “This shit’s like making love in a canoe.”
“Excuse me?”
“It’s fucking near water.”

-Dave Sedaris

Dave Sedaris quote

26 Jun
“If you’re looking for sympathy you’ll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.”
― David Sedaris

She said

2 May
‘Do you think it is a sign
Just as a ladybug
crawled up my arm
A true confession
that our soul’s exist,
outside as well as within
My dad bought me a book
I thought it contained the answer
Inept or unable
Something predetermined
Truth by proxy  she said
I love you, and perhaps
that may be enough
Another chapter I read
Silly Ruminations that
I also wrote’
-Loosy and the Goosey